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Patty Contenta knows the importance of body language and movement in romantic relationships. As a result of her background in professional dancing, she understands exactly how and why the body plays such a major role in the perception of love and the development of real, passionate intimacy.
This week, Patty and I discuss a topic that many of the women I talk to express concerns over: how to flirt. Patty will be giving us the inside-scoop on what the Fearless Flirting Formula is and how it should be incorporated into your dating strategy.
Patty created her Fearless Flirting Formula for two very specific reasons. First, she saw that women didn’t want to invite the kind of sexual attention that they would have to say no to into their lives. The second reason is that they wanted to be respected more for their mind as opposed to their bodies. The goal of the Fearless Flirting Formula is to combat those anxieties and ease women gently into flirting in a way that makes them feel both comfortable and confident.
The first part of the Fearless Flirting Formula is the ability to create chemistry through a charismatic attitude. To achieve this, it’s important to understand exactly what charisma actually is, which is the ability to leave a person with a better impression about you, about themselves, and about the experience you shared together.
Together, there are four attributes to a conversation that should be applied to achieve charismatic energy. Patty explains this through through ACES: appreciation, commonality, elevation, and self-expression. Appreciation refers to the ability to give compliments and recognize other people’s gifts. Commonality is when you look for what’s common between the two of you. Watch how they carry themselves or ask questions about their hobbies. Find out more about their personalities and values. Elevation is being the kind of person that can elevate the mood, whether it be through a natural sense of humor or by paying attention to your environment. Use your senses to elevate the moment. Finally, self-expression refers to sharing who you are with him—your quirks, what you’re reading, or the experiences you had… What are you doing with your life? Let him find out these things in a fun way, and work yourself up to asking to also share.
The second part of the Fearless Flirting Formula involves sensual or sexual energy. When you feel as though there’s a great connection and conversation, you’ll want to turn it up nonverbally. Get into your flirty self through body language. Will you sit in listen? Or will you use your body to enhance an approachable attitude? In good dancing, Patty says, there’s always an emphasis on a strong vertical spine. In flirting, allow your body to move in the same way and allow the melting process to affect your demeaner, drawing him into you more. Be aware of how your holding yourself. Are you rigid and tight, or are you melting? Touch yourself gently, and allow him to lean into you. Nonverbally show that you’re interested. Touch his hand first, to show that you appreciate the moment you’re share together.
What do you think about Patty’s Fearless Flirting Formula? Have you tried it out for yourself? Let us know in the comments below!
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